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Having a little trouble communicating? Try one of these conversation starters:

"Couple Time"

What is something you thoroughly enjoyed doing as a child and have not done in years?

Describe the location and three features of your dream home?

From "Love Talks for Couples" by Gary Chapman and Ramon Presson

She told us that the man with whom she was having an affair was much more Christ-like than her husband.  They prayed together and talked about God at their secret meeting place.  Seriously.  She would think about her husband’s lack of spiritual fervor, sense a greater interest in God in her illicit lover, and Satan was able to create one more excuse in her heart why what she was doing was not only OK, but right.

Be careful in your judgment.  It’s not that judgment can’t be made.  It’s just so much easier to see the speck in someone else’s eye.  Whether it’s having an affair, speaking harshly, refusing to speak at all, declining to forgive, withholding affection, or snubbing responsibility we are experts at coming up with excuses – though we are without excuse (Romans 1:20).  When we are walking in our human nature in regard to our marriage relationship instead of our spiritual nature, we make excuses for our failures.  We don’t repent.

It is not always true that what our spouses perceive about us is accurate; but it is a great place to start looking for areas in which we have been acting in human nature instead of spiritual.  Remember, the first tendency for many of us is to make excuse.  Stop it!

Validate your spouse’s perception.  Carefully, prayerfully, authentically, examine yourself to see what might really be true; and when there is something to change, walk in the Spirit, and begin to change it!